The RetroCookGirl Does The Ultimate Grown-Up Holiday Dessert: Banana Bread

It is Saturday night, merging into Sunday, the wind is cold, howling holiday cold for the first time in this very spooky “could-this-be-another-piece-of-evidence-of-global-warming?” middle of autumn and inside my cupboards in my narrow kitchen, twenty-eight bananas sleep peacefully while I see no sleep in sight. Maybe I should jump into those cupboards, where it is dark and hopefully where they will moisten, grow mushy and overly ripe. No green bananas, please, we need almost spotty brown and unappealing…we need the MOLTO RIPE banana, for this is the secret, as my mother told it to me, of perfect banana bread.

My mother’s fantastically easy recipe calls for 2 cups or THIS IS A MUCH EASIER WAY TO JUDGE THIS: four large overly ripe, (can you say tropical?) gushy and almost mashed in its skin, thick and plush bananas per banana bread. I will be baking seven such breads tomorrow (if the cinnamon scent doesn’t make me faint first from its Norman Rockwell sweetness) and it is one of the top ten things I can bake really well. You didn’t ask for it but here it is anyway…my own personal top ten Baker’s Delights. Aka what I can bake from scratch, no cheating.

Truly filled with love, kitchen dancing (much solo swaying) and time spent listening to a variety of music. Both lists (what I can bake and make appear like magic…and some musical inspiration…) appear below.

THE TOP TEN THINGS I BAKE BEST

1. Cheesecake brownies
2. Apple Pie
3. Chocolate Cream Cheese Cake
4. Pecan Pie
5. Zucchini Bread
6. Banana Bread
7. Blueberry Muffins
8. Cinnamon Donuts
9. Coffee Cake
10. Sugar Cookies
11. Chocolate Chip Cookies (Vanilla Chips)*
12. Chocolate and Vanilla Ribbon Cookies*
13. Midnight Chocolate Layer Cake with Vanilla Filling*

*The Baker’s Dozen means thirteen!

Like everyone else on the planet (of the female species) I think I dance (as my 12year old would say) “like a Beast.” Apparently that is a very good thing. Actually what I meant to say before “beast” is we (and I) think we dance like Shakira. It’s the half-apron that really brings it out further in you. Here are songs and albums that inspire sweet, fluffy results.

1. Speaking of Shakira, “Hips Don’t Lie”
2. “Dontcha Worry ‘bout A Thing” Stevie Wonder
3. The entire soundtrack to “The Big Chill”
4. The entire soundtrack to “Legends of the Fall” (not so much dancing, more emoting)
5. The entire oeuvre of John Mayer, from “Room to Squares” to “Continuum”, with “Heavier Things” “Try” (with his trio) and “Any Given Thursday” and “Inside Wants Out”
6. Who’s Next, The Who
7. Christina Aguilera “Ain’t No Other Man”
8. Jason Mraz, last three songs on both his albums, “Curbside Prophet” and “Mr. A-Z”
9. “Ain’t Nobody” Rufus, seriously featuring Chaka Khan
10. “Sexyback” Justin Timberlake w/ Timbaland

This is such a mini-list, I think this will have to become another recipe-less article in the near future.

You will need to scrounge together:

1. ½ cup vegetable oil
2. 2 cups flour
3. 1 cup white (not light or dark brown) sugar
4. 2 eggs
5. Those 4 brown and ugly but sweet, sweet, sweet bananas, taken out of captivity
6. 1 tsp. vanilla extract or 1 splash/fash/dash of lemon juice and 1 ¼ tsp. vanilla extract
7. 1 tsp salt
8. 1 tsp. cinnamon
9. 3 tsp. baking powder
10. 1 cup sugar

After you preheat the oven to 350 degrees,

1. Mix sugar and vegetable oil together.
2. Beat the eggs until light and then pour into sugar and veggie oil mixture.
3. Mash and mush the already gushy bananas into the mixture. Get the bananas as “flat” and “liquidy” as you can.
4. Add: baking powder, cinnamon, salt, vanilla extract or dash of lemon juice and vanilla extract; add flour slowly, about a quarter of the 2 cups at a time while mixing into the batter.
5. Bake for 45 minutes to an hour in 9x5” pan for a large (high) bread. The baking temperature should be 375 degrees.

My mother said she showed me this once and I loved how the house smelled, I baked it every day for a month. So she was forced to teach me a less lush and luscious dish, like steak. I am an instinctive baker and I love the whole process. My mom, the diva, is much more of a real cook.

Nice for PTA drop-offs (they’re practically indestructible) cheap as hell to make and pretty low-maintenance, so the dance ratio is high on this. Party on!